


Obligatory Prank War Fic (And Why Eating Edd's Candy Is A Bad Idea™)

by paranormalnerd



Series: Self-Destruction And Cuddle Piles [6]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Prank Wars, cat vomit does not make good hair products, don't eat Edd's candy, he will fuck u up, rip matt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 18:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8812285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paranormalnerd/pseuds/paranormalnerd
Summary: It's Matt's fault.





	

**Author's Note:**

> TW// Cursing, and possible 'blood'

Matt was in a predicament. He was screwed, and Edd was going to kill him. Candy wrappers littered the floor, bags left askew. In the middle of it all, was Matt, nervously chewing on the last of his friends cola-flavoured candy. Edd had just bought it that day, and now Matt had gone and eaten it all. He blamed his sweet tooth.

 

Oh gosh, what was he going to do? The right thing,  _ obviously _ . He’d destroy the evidence!

 

Matt carefully scooped up all of the wrappings, and hid them underneath a potted plant in the hall. There, a job well done. After writing Edd a quick note, Matt brushed off his hands and applauded his own handiwork. No way would Edd be able to trace this back to him! Not in a million years.

 

___

 

Edd had gotten home from Tom’s around dinner time. He walked into his apartment, took off his shoes, and wandered into the kitchen for a snack. Making his way to the cabinet, Edd searched the shelves for his cola-flavoured-candy. Unfortunately for him, it didn't appear to be where he left it. Edd turned around, confused, and looked about the kitchen counter. Lying on the sidelines was a sheet of notebook paper. Edd examined the note, and saw that it was probably written by Matt, going by the giant signature and message written in purple glitter pen. Matt had said in his note that he had found Ringo eating Edd's candy, and bravely decided to try and rescue it. However, despite Matt's best efforts, Ringo had eaten all the candy. Also, Edd shouldn't look behind the potted plant in the hallway-for some unspecified reason.

 

So, Matt ate his candy? Pssh, no- no worries. It’s all good. No reason for Edd to freak out or anything. Yup everything’s fine- fuck. Yeah okay Edd was pissed. Matt ate his candy and Edd was pissed.

 

So what was he going to do about it? Well, Matt wasn't going to have fun. Now, where was Ringo?

 

\---

 

“EDD!!”

 

Matt angrily stormed into Edd's apartment, throwing the door open. He was dripping wet, wearing nothing but a bright purple towel with a picture of him on it. The distinct smell of vomit followed Matt as he entered, steam practically pouring out of his ears.

 

Edd sat nonchalantly, smiling directly at Matt whilst petting Ringo. Despite the innocent look, Edd seemed to be up to something. Truly, he was the embodiment of the ‘:3c’ emoticon.

 

“Hey Matt! Everything okay?”

“You switched my shampoo and conditioner with cat vomit!”

 

Edd lifted a finger to his chin, tapping it a few times, as if he was trying to remember something.

 

“Nope! Wasn't me.”

 

Matt’s eyebrows furrowed. “Well than who could've-”

 

Matt's statement was interrupted by a shrill crash, a startled scream, and the sound of four litres of Cola falling on top of someone's head.

 

Running outside, both Matt and Edd found Tom, soaked head to toe with Cola. A bucket covering his head. Edd looked over at Matt, laughing sadly.

 

“Dangit. That was supposed to fall on you.”

 

Underneath the bucket, a rather pissed off Tom was formulating a revenge plan.

 

\------

 

Ringo was pink.

 

Edd's cat had been dyed bright pink in the middle of the night, and Matt had never been more scared for his life.

 

Maybe if he made a pact with Edd, a truce of sorts, they could hide from the rage that was Tom. Sneaking outside, Matt tried to reach Edd's apartment. However, Edd seemed to have the same idea as him, as he was doing the exact same thing, apart from the fact that Edd was carrying his now hot pink cat. And now they were all in the middle of the hallway.

 

Right in front of Tom.

 

Tom was holding several water balloons, with more in a bag looped over his shoulder. Smiling at the duo, Tom raised one water balloon.

 

“I filled half of these with apple juice.”

 

Matt let out a deep breath. That wasn't too bad.

 

“The others are filled with piss. Wanna find out which ones?”

 

This was bad. Matt was once again, scared for his life and regretting ever doing anything.

 

Tom quickly launched a balloon at Edd, who ran away as quick as he could. Balloon after balloon were thrown, Matt getting the idea that maybe he should  _ run! _

 

Matt ran down the corridor, same direction as Edd. Tom smiled menacingly, waiting a few seconds before chasing after them. Matt caught up to Edd in no time, Balloons barely clipping his heels.

 

Tom’s maniacal laughter could be heard echoing off the walls, above the screams of both Edd and Matt.

 

Rounding the corner, Matt came upon a dead end. Edd looked backwards, smiling.

 

“IT’S AN ELEVATOR!”

 

Edd ran straight at the lift, jamming his finger into the call elevator button. Ringo was still firmly positioned underneath his other arm, with no intention of moving.

 

The elevator’s panel beeped, showing it was on its way up.

 

Tom ran closer.

 

Lobby floor.

 

Laughter filled the hall, louder,  _ louder _ .

 

Floor three.

 

Tom reached the duo. His left arm was cradling several water balloons, with one balloon held up above his head by his right arm.

 

Floor five.

 

Tom threw the balloon.

 

Floor six.  _ Ding. _

 

Edd dropped Ringo and tackled Matt to the ground, dodging the balloon. The water balloon, however, continued to hurtle at the elevators opening doors. Miraculously, it cleared the elevator doors and managed to hit the inside.

 

A splash sounded out, followed by the clatter of a dropped grocery bag. 

 

Edd looked up from his position on top of Matt, to see Tom gasp, and then burst into laughter.

 

“Oh my god- Tord- hah- I swear I didn't mean to- oh my fucking god that's hilarious.”

 

Getting up, Edd peered into the lift, Matt following behind him.

 

Tord was inside. Soaked head to toe. A rather unpleasant urine smell leaked out from the liquid. So it  _ definitely _ wasn't apple juice.

 

Tord looked up, smiling. Despite the gesture, the other three were not at all calmed by this.

 

Tom's laughter died as Tord pulled out a gun.

 

“ _ Run.” _

 

\----

 

Matt was shot first.

 

He fell down gracefully, making a soft thump on the ground. Clutching his chest, Matt looked up at Tord, who was smiling at his defeat.

 

Red liquid poured down Matt's chest, staining his purple hoodie. That was going to be a pain to wash out.

 

“How could you?” Matt whispered, grasping at the red stain on his chest.

 

“Chill. It's just a paintball. It'll wash out.” Tord dug into his pocket, retrieving another gun, handing it to Matt. “Here. Now help me take down Tom. I fucking smell like piss and he’s gonna get shot.”


End file.
